ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
