Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
