i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
