At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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