whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
