at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
