Where is the hickey?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize