I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
