Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize