He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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