I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
