Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
