Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
