Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
