How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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