i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
