C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
