whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
