11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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