I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
