Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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