Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
