brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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