the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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