Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
