I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
