I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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