Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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