I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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