mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
