You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
