I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
