yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
