At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize