So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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