He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
