Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
