My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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