If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
