She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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