just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
