HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
