He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize