he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
