then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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