Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
