Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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