I just pynch a tree in the face
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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