shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
