my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Green mimosas i think yes
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
