I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
