I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize