he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize