I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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