Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
