I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize