He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
