Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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