Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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